This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: September 29, 2023
September 22
Heard a woman in Target ask her kid 'is that a smart choice to make with your money?' and now I wish she would follow me around the store, too.
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) September 22, 2023
this is either a typo or the greatest commitment to journalism in the history of journalism pic.twitter.com/dfNVGrwnoR
— ACABylon Bot, LLC (@ACABylonBee) September 22, 2023
https://t.co/MhF19WsJ4O pic.twitter.com/EREJBktkdk
— MeidasTouch (@MeidasTouch) September 22, 2023
Fetterman must look absolutely insane to Diane Feinstein. Imagine if an ogre in gym shorts just started showing up at your work place and you never remember meeting him
— Christopher Hooks (@cd_hooks) September 22, 2023
Fox News brought this guy on this morning to blast the relaxed Senate dress code and demand that John Fetterman wear a suit and tie. pic.twitter.com/7a4VrKwtxZ
— Justin Baragona (@justinbaragona) September 22, 2023
every time I write an email I think: "you need to be professional. no smiley faces. no exclamation points. use big, smart words. you are so so brave" and then I'll get a reply from some 60 year old VP named Mike that's like, "thx. have a gr8 wknd!
— S.LIZ (@slizagna) September 22, 2023
Get Outlook for iOS"
shout out to to these extras in the background of Bottoms for selling the hell out of this inaudible conversation. like what were they even talking about pic.twitter.com/zfezP4SrAj
— paul (@paulswhtn) September 22, 2023
Remember when the Panama Papers came out and exposed all the billionaires and politicians as the money-grubbing criminals they are and the journalist who broke the story was car-bombed and no one did anything about it? 🤔
— @red-ironheart.bsky.social |NoWarButClassWar| (@redd_foreverr) September 23, 2023
they're not coming back, they died from COVID https://t.co/w5BcikV0ch
— Kilmartin: Cincy, Austin, Ft Collins (@anylaurie16) September 22, 2023
A glass pot is crazy give the food some privacy https://t.co/wpIGkT2Loz
— Q🦦 (@youcancallmeQ_) September 22, 2023
Quite honestly this is the best analysis of Radiohead ever https://t.co/bbppks7wtG
— Sofia Coppium (@indianloonie) September 22, 2023
BBC Breakfast showed a pigeon hitting a man's head and Naga Munchetty lost it. It's absolutely delightful. pic.twitter.com/2NDBFlb64S
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) September 22, 2023
I mean do I have to say it? https://t.co/ZH4MrAqMEA pic.twitter.com/RuL2jF4FvF
— WatchMojo (@WatchMojo) September 22, 2023
https://t.co/ZdESrkgH10 pic.twitter.com/2hBGQ535rS
— Dan White (@atdanwhite) September 22, 2023
This is my favourite exchange in a very long time. Care of Mickey Rourke… pic.twitter.com/ePHlsG17gj
— 𝗢𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗠𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗺𝗮𝗻 (@OliverMaltman) September 22, 2023
Genuinely don't think I'll ever get over this https://t.co/PuaU17fHrB pic.twitter.com/Yun1TxXdeh
— flynn slicker (@flynnslick) September 22, 2023
Husband, day 1 of owning a dog: It's just a dog.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 22, 2023
Husband, day 2 of owning a dog: We should give the dog a middle name.
me: *trying to wipe my dog's wet paws as i let her in from outside just like i have done every day for the last two years*
— Ygrene™ (@Ygrene) September 22, 2023
my dog: what the fuck is this shit
Congrats, you've just (re-)invented cable TV! Do residuals next! https://t.co/ZDsKIoH5bl
— Gennefer Gross (@Gennefer) September 22, 2023
Forgot to make fun of this yesterday, sorry, won't happen again. pic.twitter.com/cK3iYWkh3i
— Shawn Wines WGA Captain (@shawnwines) September 23, 2023
September 23
It's a "best and final offer" from the people who brought you HBO Max I mean HBO Go I mean HBO Now I mean Max I mean
— Corey Deshon (@CoreyDeshon) September 24, 2023
BestAndFinalOfferV8_revise_finalFINAL.pdf https://t.co/2ntafSiLSL
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) September 24, 2023
NBA Twitter is not real 💀 pic.twitter.com/8akezH5YdW
— Hana (@HanaHoops) September 23, 2023
When she asks me "What's coming on after the game?" and I have the pleasure of telling her "Another game." pic.twitter.com/xRVSnLl5X3
— Ski Mask Shawty (@haveyouheardofg) September 23, 2023
Very disappointed the accused sex offender hasn't chosen to spread conspiracy theories on my platform pic.twitter.com/BTt0L76llG
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) September 23, 2023
It's easy to slag this off for not being funny. And I guess that's what I like about it. How easy, and correct, it is to do that. https://t.co/0Z4qzLpRlT
— The author, Séamas O'Reilly (@shockproofbeats) September 23, 2023
this dude is unintentionally recreating "an evening with tim heidecker" except without any irony and not a single second is funny https://t.co/oCs9UU3hWF
— Jared Gilman (@realJaredGilman) September 23, 2023
i have made crazier jokes than this in work meetings https://t.co/98Xjhxrb4w pic.twitter.com/oF4dVvWsOj
— sarah hagi (@KindaHagi) September 23, 2023
Sensational material pic.twitter.com/mlzBpOhAJE
— TheIainDuncanSmiths (@TheIDSmiths) September 23, 2023
I put my American audience to the test with a selection of my darkest jokes… https://t.co/ORbj8TUqNb pic.twitter.com/xc7Dz4zeXN
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) September 24, 2023
in 2014 there was a push for everyone with a platform to use their influence for good. comedians can't do that without a drop in ticket sales. instead, they began pretending comedy was under attack so that they can mimic activism without having to actually risk anything. pic.twitter.com/3nShrkfcQa
— Alice Hamilton (@AliceRHamilton) September 23, 2023
incredible to take an 80 second "is this allowed??" windup and then read jokes right off Popsicle Sticks Against Humanity https://t.co/mjocD1gbzS
— mike ginn (@shutupmikeginn) September 24, 2023
Middle aged hack comics desperate to go viral for being "edgy" punching down on trans people or being racist on a basement stage, meanwhile Nate Bargatze is selling out arenas with material like this
— Sarah York (@thesarahyork) September 23, 2023
pic.twitter.com/bQlrPPTeiO
Absolute perfection…yeah yeah yeahpic.twitter.com/2KcDnIU3aN
— Eddie Braben (@eddie_braben) September 23, 2023
burger king has fallen… pic.twitter.com/rRrTWiWabh
— pudding person (@JUNlPER) September 23, 2023
— Vinny Thomas (@vinn_ayy) September 23, 2023
Living in Toronto is so embarrassing because your friends from Montreal will visit and start asking questions like "where is all the green space?", "why is the sound so bad at this venue?", "where are all the hot people?", "why is that dog in a stroller?" , etc.
— forlornwife (@forlornwife) September 24, 2023
Ontario's Ministry of Health recommends coughing into your elbow instead of masking for highly infectious airborne diseases like Covid. Apparently they want people to use every body part except their brain.
— Bill Comeau (@Billius27) September 23, 2023
Hello, Conservative Party of Canada? Yeah, this is Doug Ford, mayor of Ontario. Listen, I'm just puttin' some feelers out and such, but I wanted to ask about how strict you are about that whole French speaking thing? Come prawned moo-wah? pic.twitter.com/4JTTse6QHm
— Barney Panofsky's Best Intentions (@mynamesnotgordy) September 24, 2023
Canada's parliament gave a standing ovation to a literal Nazi from World War 2. Here's why that's good news for markets
— CBC Pitchbot (Satire) (@CBCPitchbot) September 23, 2023
I love when Hulk wears his formal bandana pic.twitter.com/1nVSMH14h2
— c a i t l i n (@hello__caitlin) September 23, 2023
It's surreal to see the populists who constantly rail against the elite suddenly say, "hold on, why isn't this senator acting like an elite and dressing in $5k suits and going to fancy Michelin star restaurants?" https://t.co/HBC0OerWs8
— Alejandra Caraballo (@Esqueer_) September 23, 2023
President Fugazi https://t.co/PBO55oMrQq
— Todd Barry (@toddbarry) September 24, 2023
sorry but "what good is all that idol money if you're paying 2400 for a Los Feliz one bedroom like the rest of the plebs" is pretty much why SAG is on strike https://t.co/emeZLooEoe
— jes tom • TORONTO 9/28, 29, 30 just added! 🥀 (@jestom) September 24, 2023
the fictional town from sex education stresses me out so much like where do they all live in relation to each other. why do eric and otis both use the same bus stop in the woods, surely there'd be a bus stop closer to eric's house in the village. do they even have a wetherspoons.
— grace (@amandayoungdyke) September 23, 2023
Obsessed with ayo edebiri's dad's review of bottoms pic.twitter.com/LRFlv4NsrI
— august (@folkIoriians) September 24, 2023
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