This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: May 3, 2019
THE RESTROOM REQUIRES A SACRIFICE pic.twitter.com/99zJb1dGvn— cinnamon roll storage unit (@ahptik) April 28, 2019
Joel Embiid when he's guarded by Marc Gasol and Serge Ibaka pic.twitter.com/TpkhZOJb1D— Fredo #KnicksTape (@goknickstape) April 28, 2019
Uber driver tonight said he had never heard of Weird Al Yankovic. Then he started taking about skateboarding. You better believe I asked him what skateboarding was and that i'd never heard of it.— Nick Vatterott (@nickvatterott) April 28, 2019
And now with Father Stretch My Hands 😭😭😭🔥🔥🔥 pic.twitter.com/GJV8D5vuze— Complex (@Complex) April 28, 2019
Do I have a shitty TV or is this what the GOT battle looked like? pic.twitter.com/IJxSwuodFz— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) April 29, 2019
that guy Arya banged in the last episode better go down on her tonight #GOT— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) April 29, 2019
JORAH: I'll lead the first charge.— Dan Amira (@DanAmira) April 29, 2019
BRIENNE: I'll command the left flank.
GREY WORM: The Unsullied shall protect the gate.
BRAN: How cool would it be to fly around and just do like, general bird stuff
Next week: the battle to rescue the lighting equipment from Cersei— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) April 29, 2019
Game of Thrones is clearly fantasy because the leaders try to deal with the existential threat to humanity first— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) April 29, 2019
I don't know why you can't celebrate the Night King as a great general and a hero, the war wasn't even really about zombification anyway— Max J. Rosenthal (@maxjrosenthal) April 29, 2019
Real talk, this pic of the Baylor women's basketball team at the White House is errythaaaang. pic.twitter.com/yoP7OHFxWS— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) April 30, 2019
If white people know how to say Daenerys Targaryen, they can learn to pronounce your name correctly.— Lana (@kirkobainz) April 30, 2019
My niece has her bird trained to attack anyone she screams at 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/ea0JoWMNrT— Lord Flocko 🐦 (@Apex_sH) April 30, 2019
Nice! I'm excited to see their stand up. pic.twitter.com/PBleW35UDG— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) April 30, 2019
the sonic movie actually looks good as hell pic.twitter.com/SgLi4FnwQP— Лиля (@lo_lifer) April 30, 2019
what gif the g in gif is silent— the average joe (@jazz_inmypants) May 1, 2019
You had 2 hours to put your shoes on... https://t.co/TDGYz2vwr1— regn (@itsregn) May 1, 2019
Me reviewing the blankets at my AirBNB: pic.twitter.com/Pbmc2rGXhb— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) May 2, 2019
Not QUILTY y'all got to feel me pic.twitter.com/P74abSZ26D— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) May 2, 2019
God: you're a dove.— Oops!...I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) May 2, 2019
God: do you know what that means?
Dove: white pigeon?
God: what-no it means I've chosen you to represent my Holy Spirit.
Dove: [scared] g-ghost pigeon?
Me: *while the credits roll to The Never ending story* I did not see this coming— Boog (@BoogTweets) May 2, 2019
Look what just showed up in the mail!! Whew - FINALLY I can get rid of these dusty OLD ones! pic.twitter.com/Q0oFfgjXwe— Al Yankovic (@alyankovic) May 2, 2019
I made a car commercial pic.twitter.com/gd2mWY07CY— Matt O'Brien (@matt_obrien) May 3, 2019
After I graduated from Gatorade University my classmates dumped a football coach on my head.— Paul Rust (@paulrust) May 3, 2019
That's When You Break with Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg at SNL40 pic.twitter.com/nAaQao8UsA— SNL Snippets (@SNLSnippets) May 4, 2019